X Rebrand Part of a Wider Plan to Name Major Companies After Ed Sheeran Albums

The Lemon Press can exclusively reveal that Elon Musk’s inexplicable renaming of Twitter to X was not, as previously thought, a meaningless consolidation of his own vanity and an attempt to prove to the world that he could do whatever he wanted like a tantruming toddler, but instead a love letter to Mr Musk’s greatest musical hero.

We are told that Elon fell in love with Ed’s music when he heard his hit ‘castle on a hill’, which made him yearn for the joys of the quaint impenetrable fortress atop his childhood emerald mine.

Ever since this shocking revelation, experts have been scrambling to predict which companies Musk will buy and rename next, positing that Tesla might become ‘divide’, his first major company will become ‘mine-us’ and that he may even buy the rights to the Switzerland flag and call it a big plus. Behavioural experts warn however that Musk is very unlikely to invest any money in any major entities becoming ‘equals’ as he’s not very fussed about that sort of thing. It’s fair to say that there is slightly less certainty on which company will become ‘No. 6 Collaborations Project’.