The Marshland Angel • 12th August 2025

Diogenes lists jar for 400 drachma a night on Airbnb while on work trip to Thebes

Well known philosopher and man-about-town Diogenes of Sinop has listed his house on Airbnb for the low price of 400 drachmas while he heads to a philosophy conference in Thebes. Usually a staunch believer in the benefits of poverty, Mr ‘of Sinop’ apparently takes on a slightly looser code of ethics when he’s on the tab of those bastards at Thebes U, and will be on an all inclusive at the Oedipal Inn which will still cost significantly less than he’s charging his guests.


The home boasts a spac...

The Marshland Angel • 19th July 2025

Mental Health Expert Advises People with Anxiety to ‘Avoid Stressful Stuff’

Are you an anxiety sufferer for whom every moment is a living hell? Are you looking for support in your time of need? Look no further than the Marshland Angel’s own mental health expert Jeremy Placebo, whose qualifications include a BA in Art History and sending us a very convincing LinkedIn DM. Strap in as Jeremy completely cures your anxiety through a computer screen.


Just like the best way to avoid testicular cancer is to castrate yourself, the best way to avoid an anxiety attack is to st...

The Lemon Press (Print) • 15th September 2024

'Sabbs with Benefits'

An award winning exclusive story, uncovering dubious gifts from a local business to the Students' Union in a satirical style

The Lemon Press (Print) • 7th March 2024

UK Government to Bring Making Old Men Walk Around in Circles to Industrial Level

Good News! After the astonishing success of the Captain Tom Moore Foundation in funding a much-needed spa for his family, Rishi Sunak has identified that the whole ordeal was actually the most successful capitalistic venture the UK has seen for quite a while.

The Lemon Press (Print) • 21st September 2024

Wes Streeting Outraged Water Molecules Allowed to Change State Without Asking Him First

Lover of sailing metaphors and answer to the question ‘who could Keir Starmer appoint as health secretary who could be anywhere near as unlikeable as Jeremy Hunt?’, Wes Streeting has spoken out against the transition of H2O molecules from ice to water and back again, arguing they simply haven’t consulted him.

The Lemon Press (Print) • 21st September 2024

Red Flag Alert! All of My Partner’s Previous Relationships Ended

Just weeks ago I was a simple, romantic, English Literature student living in blissful ignorance, deeply in love with my girlfriend and pootling through my life writing about Marxist Structuralism in the Mr Men.

The Lemon Press (Print) • 26th April 2024

Rishi Sunak to Open Mental Health Clinic that Looks Suspiciously Like a Shein Factory

Aware that his glorious leadership is nearing a calamitous end at the hands of charismatic jack-the-lad Keir Starmer, Rishi Sunak has taken to hurriedly passing legislation close to his heart, namely putting the mentally ill to work.

The Lemon Press (Print) • 21st September 2023

X Rebrand Part of a Wider Plan to Name Major Companies After Ed Sheeran Albums

The Lemon Press can exclusively reveal that Elon Musk’s inexplicable renaming of Twitter to X was not, as previously thought, a meaningless consolidation of his own vanity and an attempt to prove to the world that he could do whatever he wanted like a tantruming toddler, but instead a love letter to Mr Musk’s greatest musical hero.

The Lemon Press (Print) • 21st September 2023

York Freshers to be Allowed Two Conversations Before They Must Apply For Student Housing

Oh you wanted to get to know your flatmates and assess their personalities as well as their compatibility before making an educated decision on housing based on shared budgeting and careful research? No.

The Lemon Press (Print) • 21st September 2023

York Students Explain How They Manage to Stay 'Woke'

‘I have chronic insomnia’

8th November 2023

How Do We Write Responsible Satire in the 21st Century?

A comment piece on writing responsible satire, originally submitted as university coursework